You can do your best to prepare your child for almost anything. You can teach your kids the skills in life they need, but very little prepares them for the realization that they are going to have a sibling. It’s not the easiest thing in the world, because your firstborn may feel excluded, or envious, and may have a lot of emotions that are new to them. So how can you help your firstborn feel included throughout the pregnancy, but also make sure that they are ready for their sibling to enter the world?
Teaching Them
There’s going to be a lot of anxiety on your part, and as soon as your child sees that handheld ultrasound device during the scan, this is the perfect opportunity to teach them about what mom is going through, but also give them a sense of responsibility. You can either focus on the baby and make your child feel excluded in a subconscious way, or you can involve your child in every step of the process. It’s a good idea to teach your child how you are feeling too, and make sure that they can help you in little ways because this will make them feel like they are really important in the process.
Learning to Expand Their Heart
Because it is a shock to the system for your child that they get another sibling, you have to give it some time for them to become used to the idea. When you are pregnant, it is still just them and you, and this means that if you avoid talking about the baby during pregnancy, and then one day the baby “magically” comes along, you cannot be surprised if your firstborn acts out. Instead, think about helping them to love the child much as you do, and it’s going to be a very difficult process but this is why you need to involve them every step of the way.
Expect Tantrums
They are going to have mixed emotions because their lives are changed. So there will be tantrums, but it’s important to not tell them off when they are throwing the sentence, but about letting them process the information. It’s far better for you to let them have their tantrum and come back to you because this means you won’t be rising to the bait and they will be able to get the stress out of their system.
It’s a hard thing for them to get used to, because all of a sudden, they don’t have your 100% attention, but this is where you have to reassure and tell them that you don’t love them any less. Reassurance is so important, not just throughout pregnancy, but throughout the rest of their lives. The important thing that you need to do at this stage is to nurture that solid relationship between you, your baby, and your older child. They are going to need each other as they get older, and it’s those important early stages where you have to involve them all and this is what will build a solid family unit.
