Puberty is one of the most difficult times in life that your child is going to go through, and you should know because you’ve been through it yourself. When your children go through puberty, it’s a difficult time for you because you have to watch them go through it and there’s nothing that you can do to stop them from feeling the way that they do. If you focus on all of the negatives of puberty, it’s going to become a time of trepidation and stress, and that’s the last thing you want to give to your pre team. In fact, one of the best things that you can do is keep positive through the changes and guide them through it as best you can.
There are books to help kids understand emotions, and there are books to help kids understand the Physiology of puberty. But as a parent, it’s going to be up to you to make sure that they truly understand what the change is going to mean to them while you go through those conversations and you navigate voice changes and periods and development of different body parts. Here are some tips that we’ve got for you so that you can keep as positive as possible as you go through it.
- Keep bringing up the positives. It’s important to talk about the exciting things that they get to do. For example, children who have yet to reach puberty do not get to go out with their friends by themselves. It’s also important to realise that when they’re getting taller they can go on bigger theme park rides and as they’re developing their bodies they’ll be able to experience new things with friends and have a lot more independence, they’ll be able to have more choices and they’ll get to make more decisions when it comes to their own clothes and their well-being. They’re going to look forward to falling in love for the first time their body changes and connecting with you in a way that is very different because they don’t need you as much, but they just want to be around you.
- Keep some perspective. It’s hard to do this because you’ve already been through puberty, but it’s very much a case of talking about expectations. During puberty, there’s going to be some differences, and as a parent it’s hard to take because you want your children to listen and respond to you. You don’t want them to argue. However, argue is what they will do because that’s what children do. There needs to be consequences, there needs to be expectations and there needs to be very honest conversations about all of it.
- Celebrate it. There are so many milestones that we do not celebrate in life that we absolutely should. Some people have a party to celebrate puberty, but if that would embarrass your child, all you can do is acknowledge it and just let them ride it through instead of arguing with bad moods. Remember, it’s not a reflection of your parenting, but it’s just the mix of hormones that are shooting through their bodies right now. You can still celebrate the changes that are happening by going out for dinner and enjoying little milestones.
- Encourage them through puberty. You are going to have to encourage them to take showers, to go for walks, to learn to cook, to eat nutritious foods and to genuinely look after the bodies that they are getting. It’s important as a parent that you are the encourager, you are the one to encourage friendships and respect and manners, and you are the one to encourage new jobs because now they’re going to be old enough to go and take up a part time job around their schooling. You can encourage so much in your child during puberty and it’s the one time you can have a really good impact.
- Remember the acceptance from when they were born. When you first found out you were pregnant, you knew you were going to have a baby and you were excited about that fact. You got to choose everything for them when they were a baby, from the clothes that they wore to the bed that they slept in. But as they hit puberty, it’s time for you to accept that they’re going to potentially become a diverse member of society, and you need to accept that about them.You’re not losing anything. In fact, you’re gaining an intelligent and emotionally secure individual as a result. The quirkiness that comes with your children as they grow and change can rub you the wrong way if it triggers you, but that’s more of an introspective thing for you to focus on. Getting some therapy to help you through their changes is going to help.
- Don’t forget to communicate. The relationship you have with your protein is not going to be the same one as with your toddler.Your toddler used to stand at the door and watch you go to the bathroom, but your preteen is going to want to hide away in their bedroom as much as possible. They’ll want to be treated more like adults and that should be respected. Let them be treated as the adults that they are, even though they’re not going to be officially able to be adults just yet.
- Don’t let them get too isolated. It’s very easy for teenagers to hole up in their bedrooms, to be left there all the time, but as a parent, it’s up to you to make sure that that doesn’t happen. Yes, they’re going to want to spend more time by themselves, and yes, they’re going to want to listen to their friends more than they want to listen to you. But as a parent, you have to make sure that they’re not isolated to their bedrooms to eat, that they must come out and still socialize with their family because they are still part of the family.
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