When dark days happen, recovery can often be a far longer process than we may have anticipated. No one’s life, however privileged, is immune from challenges, suffering and loss, but in terrible times, when it feels like our world is spinning out of control, we have to accept that sometimes we can’t control events. What we can control is our response to what is happening. And while processing negative emotions is a journey which cannot take place within a set time frame of our choosing, there are proactive steps we can take to begin to heal from a place of great trauma. For cues, we need to look to survivors of extreme events, from natural disasters to the boy scout abuse legal cases we see in the media. These victims have been through unimaginable horror, but somehow, and in their own time, most of them have found their way back to happiness. And so if something terrible occurs in your life – being made redundant, losing a loved one, going through a divorce or dealing with serious illness, you can choose to emerge stronger as well.
Choose To Heal On Your Own Terms
When something significant happens out of the blue, it’s natural for us to have feelings of resentment. Why did this happen? What did we do to deserve it? Life can seem like a betrayal and deeply unfair. Our sense of agency has been taken away from us. It’s very important for our emotional recovery process that we regain a sense of control. To do this, we have to accept that life can be random and cruel, and that there’s no way we can change that. What we can change in choosing to heal. Choosing to take whatever small life lesson we can and take steps towards recovery. This is one big commitment, but it’s also a series of smaller choices on a daily basis. For each choice you are faced with, you need to ask yourself – will this get me closer towards recovery, or further away?
Seek Qualified Help
In times of crisis, being able to lean on an informal support network is invaluable – our friends and relatives are the ones who know and love us best and who we really need close to us when life takes a darker turn. However, it’s important also to recognise how much you might benefit from professional help. Whether it’s finding a support group, attending therapy sessions or finding an online forum to connect with people in similar circumstances, having diverse forms of help can support you in making a quicker and fuller recovery.
Move A Little More
Exercise can be priceless in terms of your progress. We shouldn’t underestimate the role it plays in regulating stress and offering a constructive outlet – the old adage ‘healthy mind, healthy body’ is true and shows how clearly physical and mental wellbeing are connected. Try to find some outlet that suits you – this could simply be making sure that you get outside for a half hour walk each day. Some people find a home yoga routine calms them, while for others, playing a team sport is a great way to find some relief.
